Carta a los Reyes 2014

This Carta is an annual todo.And it can be barely the same year after year but I still like this process of losing the fear of thinking about it and of making it publish. And because it gives me an excuse to stop 10 minutes and think, an excuse to sit in front of a computer and write... just normal feelings of a normal human being.

Worst feelings 2014
1. Watching my lovely awesome flatmate being heart broken. And not being able to do anything to stop her crying, unable to do anything else than giving her all my support, advice and love.

2 &;3. The tears caused due to "some parts" of my job, the feeling of incompetence. The fear of leaving it, not being brave enough to give it up.

4. That moment in Hamburg with my family when we were quarreling so much that I was about to take a bus back to Berlin. Because some feelings never change. And some things do not change.

5. The feeling of lack of time and being running from one place to another. Not being able to enjoy my friends as much as I want. The lack of a schedule to be able to get  hobbies (or at least, to enroll in a German course). And the feeling of being at home and do not know what to do because I am not used anymore to be home and read a book without any worries.

6.Drama

7.  The "I prefer to be with people who have studied science because they can understand my jokes". That sentence that someone close to me said.

Best feelings 2014

1.Realizing that I am not doing it so bad and starting to be a bit proud of myself (we can always be better):I am not so bad at my job, I managed to build a place I can call home and I became quiet independent. And  to say in my own way:, understanding that  "you cannot play with a Newspotter wearing high heels. 

2. After almost 30 years understanding that, not only none can fulfill the expectations people have on us but also that sometimes those ones are not real or contradictory

3. Feeling lucky due to my friendships:  because it is a real feeling. And hose friends here and there. I might not be the "significant other" of someone but I have really good people around me, for a laugh or a hug ( even virtual ones!), for telling them some news or for listening their news. And that is, for me, really important. So those little moments shared with a friend.  And knowing that one friend was finally healthy (and being able to enjoy her for several days). Or meeting, finally, some babies. 

4. That trip to Turkey, where I  was able to talk with people and hear their stories. Because those hours I was feeling that force that took me to choose this profession and took me back to the first days of university when  we all were full of that journalist dream. 

5.  My sweet flatmate. Because home became home thanks to her. 

6. Costa Rica. And planning a trip to India (finally!)

7.  Getting a spot for running Berlin Marathon in 2015. 

Wishes/ Expectations for 2015
(which is becoming harder and harder every year)

1 & 2. India (okay that one is easy), Amaya back in Berlin (for several days), my flatmate back home... and those weddings and babies (already made or about to be made). Basically being able to keep on having my number 3 of best feelings in the list (and not only for one more year). And visiting or talking with them more often.

3.To say in an easy way - working to follow some of my dreams or to take the path towards them (people do it and they are lucky so it might be the time to try): in the career level and in the private one.

4. Running Berlin Marathon - a challenge I chose to have so being able to run and finish it.

5. Going to visit my family at least once every 3  months

6. That project with Suki

7.Learning German (yes, finally)

Assessing my life 2014

Dear Facebook, I am sorry but you cannot choose the best moments of my year. That is one of my duties, when December comes. So once more, on December 25th, I am assessing my life. 2014 is the year of the planes, the year that came as fast as it is leaving that I didn't even realized it was time to write Christmas cards again. But it is also the year of the visits and the year of getting a place called home.

So, let's get down to business (Carta a los Reyes 2013)

1. Accomplished. And almost with capital letters:  my job is offering me lots of new challenges... in one way or another.  I did not manage to get as much time as I wanted to meet friends  (and that should be a to do for next year) but at least our guest room was quiet full. I managed to  learn how to use our equipment, to drive alone again, to climb the Alps with a tripod, go to the Turkish-Syrian border, to film some anarchists in Greece.. or even to run a zombie run with a gopro and a live U or to hold Live U for hours above me to get it work. And I am managing to deal with my boss...

2.  Finally close people around me are healthy (not everyone but most of them) so it was not a bad year. It can improve, of course but I have to consider it was a positive year. Because  the ones that are not 100 % heal, are becoming stronger. 

3. The trip to Costa Rica  was amazing. It not only make me disconnect (finally) but also I enjoyed every second in that awesome country: my routes alone, meeting Amaya's environment there and having the chance to know JP a bit better, the food, the Nature... even that moment when I was sunburned or when we had to walk really fast to avoid being trapped in a beach.

4.  Not as much as I wanted, but I managed to keep on running. The lack of a routine makes it hard but  I still enjoy it as much as the first day. Jogging in Tempelhof , through the canal, towards Treptower Park... so many routes and all of them different and interesting.

5.  The only one I did not manage to accomplish. And it is a pity as I really would have like to do it. I guess I had my mind in other things. So I did not collaborate with the FSFE during 2014 but that leaves me a new challenge for 2015.

To sum up, I succeed in most of my expectations for 2014. I guess I was not expecting a lot from this year more than stability and a bit of happiness and I was lucky because my life rhythm did not allow me to go through a lot of new challenges. Or basically because it was one of those year for discovering yourself.  But it was good because I kept on swimming and growing up.. and with friends.