Carta a los Reyes 2014

This Carta is an annual todo.And it can be barely the same year after year but I still like this process of losing the fear of thinking about it and of making it publish. And because it gives me an excuse to stop 10 minutes and think, an excuse to sit in front of a computer and write... just normal feelings of a normal human being.

Worst feelings 2014
1. Watching my lovely awesome flatmate being heart broken. And not being able to do anything to stop her crying, unable to do anything else than giving her all my support, advice and love.

2 &;3. The tears caused due to "some parts" of my job, the feeling of incompetence. The fear of leaving it, not being brave enough to give it up.

4. That moment in Hamburg with my family when we were quarreling so much that I was about to take a bus back to Berlin. Because some feelings never change. And some things do not change.

5. The feeling of lack of time and being running from one place to another. Not being able to enjoy my friends as much as I want. The lack of a schedule to be able to get  hobbies (or at least, to enroll in a German course). And the feeling of being at home and do not know what to do because I am not used anymore to be home and read a book without any worries.

6.Drama

7.  The "I prefer to be with people who have studied science because they can understand my jokes". That sentence that someone close to me said.

Best feelings 2014

1.Realizing that I am not doing it so bad and starting to be a bit proud of myself (we can always be better):I am not so bad at my job, I managed to build a place I can call home and I became quiet independent. And  to say in my own way:, understanding that  "you cannot play with a Newspotter wearing high heels. 

2. After almost 30 years understanding that, not only none can fulfill the expectations people have on us but also that sometimes those ones are not real or contradictory

3. Feeling lucky due to my friendships:  because it is a real feeling. And hose friends here and there. I might not be the "significant other" of someone but I have really good people around me, for a laugh or a hug ( even virtual ones!), for telling them some news or for listening their news. And that is, for me, really important. So those little moments shared with a friend.  And knowing that one friend was finally healthy (and being able to enjoy her for several days). Or meeting, finally, some babies. 

4. That trip to Turkey, where I  was able to talk with people and hear their stories. Because those hours I was feeling that force that took me to choose this profession and took me back to the first days of university when  we all were full of that journalist dream. 

5.  My sweet flatmate. Because home became home thanks to her. 

6. Costa Rica. And planning a trip to India (finally!)

7.  Getting a spot for running Berlin Marathon in 2015. 

Wishes/ Expectations for 2015
(which is becoming harder and harder every year)

1 & 2. India (okay that one is easy), Amaya back in Berlin (for several days), my flatmate back home... and those weddings and babies (already made or about to be made). Basically being able to keep on having my number 3 of best feelings in the list (and not only for one more year). And visiting or talking with them more often.

3.To say in an easy way - working to follow some of my dreams or to take the path towards them (people do it and they are lucky so it might be the time to try): in the career level and in the private one.

4. Running Berlin Marathon - a challenge I chose to have so being able to run and finish it.

5. Going to visit my family at least once every 3  months

6. That project with Suki

7.Learning German (yes, finally)